Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do ugly men flirt with girls that are really hot?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I see through liars

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What can I do when I'm ugly on both outside and inside? What do I do? Cut myself off from the world to make everyones lives better? I'm a monster. I hurt feelings, and I say what was said to me. I feel like I'm nothing but a burden. What do I do?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

🌿🌻Why are Meghan and Harry not treated like royalty in the United States anymore?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What does it mean when a guy says he doesn't want to ruin the friendship? Is he rejecting me or is there another explanation? Why would a guy choose not to risk the friendship if he has feelings for me?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why can't I lose weight?

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

I actually pay taxes

How do you feel cockroach?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet